rp post

[excontractu]

for offscreen interaction 

Comments

[trywarlockpatreon]

I'll check them. It doesn't feel right to let it go twice.

[Even if the company's on it, they want to feel like they're helping.

But he says he's hungry, and that Panera gift card from the the time Johannes bludgeoned someone to death with magic missile appears in Tandy's hand.]

I have something.

[algorithmage]

[HONESTLY WAS KIND OF WANTING SUSHI but he does not have the heart to even hint at not being psyched about the panera gift card.]

. . . Great. Works for me.

[there's. probably an eldritch panera in walking distance of the hq.]

[trywarlockpatreon]

[They would take him there! If he reminds them! But it is true that they are invested in feeling like they are Helping with this. They'll gesture, and walk, and ask:]

Did you really have to reset routers for them?

[algorithmage]

They started with trying to get me to hack Venus and W&O, but I wouldn't do it. So then they wanted me to address vulnerabilities in their system, which I also wouldn't do.

And then eventually they were just like, "Johannes, I locked myself out of my iPad for four thousand years. Johannes, my fingers are too big to press the little reset button on the router, and I've never heard of a paper clip. Johannes, why does my mouse, which is not plugged in, not work?" And I had to be like, "I don't know, why don't you try deleting your system32 directory? Have you tried submerging the device in holy water?" I lost brain cells, I swear—I'm down fifty IQ points just from proximity.

[trywarlockpatreon]

[They are sympathetic, but also. Delighted by the fact that Johannes is back to tirades.]

It sounds like that was even harder on you than the group of heavily armed enforcers jumping you.

[algorithmage]

I'd take enforcers literally any day.